Aparthib

Neemronga roddur, shunshan dupur aar modhyoratre oder byastota. Ghore ferar hashi, relgarir banshi aar sorbotro sei chokh. Hatir pithe kore aparthib anandoder niye ashcho. Dheere ,dheere esho, bhalo lagata eto teebro kore tulecho je puro swatta tai bilupto hoye jete pare. Eto obornoniyo, eto adhibhoutik, eto jagotbohirbhuto ei anando je er teebrota shukhanubhuti aar bedonabodh ke ekakar kore diyechhe.

Immaterial.

It is shapeless, has no mass , u could almost call it bayobiyo ie, made of air. But even air is a mixture of various gasses, gasses which have some elemental properties, constituted of atoms, molecules etc. I do not know what constitutes it. But can't you feel it? I do not hope to receive an answer but nevertheless i ask , i ask myself. I have seen it wait , wait for hours for a certain slightly bluish grey or brownblack staircase. It is weightless , it is no matter at all. So it faces no obstacles when it tries to cross the threshold of the door. You may not see or feel it but it does linger beside your table,stroke your eyelids gently and finally gets absorbed by the walls. I have seen some of you trying to trace its source. Did you really feel its presence or were you just guessing or better still, searching? The quest is meaningless, it has nothing to offer.That is the reason why u see dull quinine white stare back at you. Not only have i seen it enter that room but also i have been witness to its proximity to terracotta coloured rectangles. With extreme, almost enviable ease it landed on the slope and spread itself softly along the diagonals. You will never want to taste it of course. You can't, can u?Its immaterial, made of moonbeam stuff,undefined or in other words infinity. But for unidentified reasons i have begun to believe that it is salty, irredeemably salty.

The pardoners fail.

If the unthinkable happens, if catastrophe strikes, if they accuse me of rudeness, irresponsibility and foolishness ,it will .............. it will bring peace at last. At least there will be an excuse that i'll be able to give myself. I'll sit beside the window or on the bed,as the case may be,having a cup of coffee or tea with biscuits or chanachur,pretending to listen to N's ghyanghyanani about this and that and say to myself," They wronged me, it's they who couldn't tolerate my naivety,they failed to understand my pov because i was unable to make them see reason, their goodness, benevolence, patience had succumbed to my good for nothing nature, my indecisiveness, my utter lack of grey cells........ in short, my impotence". After that all shall be well, everyone will be at peace with everythingandeveryoneelse, and will forget Les Vampire. There will be no silly questions to ask and no silly answers to be given. All of us , both the accusers and the accused will have a choice to deny.......to say, "That's not it at all,/ That's not what i meant ,at all"

Kothaye pabo tare?

Khoob kharap lagchhe. Onekdin eto koshto hoye ni jotota aajke hochhe. Ajhor dharaye baire jhorte thaka brishti kicchutei take bhoolte dicchhe na. Mohendralal Dutt ke je niyecche taar kathaye agun, mukhey jhanta, pachhaye banshdola.............aaaaaro onek kichhu. Taar poriborte ashojhyo neel kimba beguni chhatra diye kaaj chalanor kotha bhablei buker bhetorta ashombhob mochor diye uthchhe. Bhoolte paaaarchhhi naaaaaa ........ aamaar kotodiner rod joler songee chillo. Aaaj nei........... shotyi shotyi boddo kanna pachhe. Bhoolo moner manush bole etodin aagle aagle rekhechilam ....... kintu chole gelo...... naa amieei dayi. Aamar moto akalkushmando aar ektao jonmai ni jonmabeo na !!!!!!

Why bother?

Why bother? Sleep.Do not disturb their sheetghoom. Wrap a blanket softly around yourself. Those who walk soundlessly during the night, those whose names must not be uttered after darkness takes over will not let riverdreams( or are they nightmares?) sit on your eyelids. They will come. But can u or for that matter can anyone wait for the sheetghoom to come to an end?Silly questions again, aren't they? So why bother. Go back to sleep and wait while they keep away those dreams far from your tired eyes.

ChheleManush.

Ek je chilo manush

Je uriyechilo fanush.

Akashe noye, akashe noye uriyechilo mone,

Sobuj, gopon,gohon gobheer bone.

Ek je chhilo chhele,

("Keute kimba gokhro noye o shnap nehat hele"!!)

Dariyechillo ishot heshe,

Kalo nodir chora srote chaito jete bheshe.

Dnohe eshe millo jethaye,

Sobje dhowa uthlo re hyaye!

Hroder buke lafiye name jhankrachulo saanj

Barandate bhashe tokhon uttore hawar jhaanj.

Bole manush, boner pane cheye,

Sada phoole mati keno dao chheye?

Chokito bon shohosha bole othe,

Tusharkona, ogulo phool noye to mote.

Chhele tokhon olpo ektu hashe,

Daraye eshe sobuj boner pashe.

Apran shorate chaye tusharkona,

Potobhumikate tobu jege thake kalo shnaper phona.

Aajo tara manush aar chhele,

Dariye achhe neelche kalo jole.

Bonke tara debei debe phanki,

Gachher songe kotha bola jaye naki?

Dry Eye.

It's been six years since i first met 'bho'. Bho during those early days would often show up in that building in Sharat Bose road.Those evenings are unforgettable . Those were the evenings of orange street lights , chalk dust and time and distance problems. The south west monsoon winds brought occasional relief from the muggy heat of April-May evenings as bho sat between us and sometimes made itself heard through the spine chilling voice of Sanjbelar pagol. Summer pranced away merrily to make way for the bile soaked rainy evenings when we learnt all about the digestive system of toad. The Pujor chutti came and walked away.........yes it walked away with Sharat and walked away with 'bho'. But it left behind a longing , a neem green, beesh neel longing for street lights and bile soaked evenings which was to stay with me for ever. Bho showed up again during sheetkal, next year. This time it was to be with me for a little longer. What colours had it in store for me!! Doodhe alta pink , fiery sensual red, flaming orange, piercingly painful bluish green.................. and also sodden,sonda gondho ola ash/grey. Like everything else , like everyone else bho is ephemeral, it is intangible ,it is gullible, it is fallible ,it is............. well i really don't know what it is. So it left me again and literally went to Sat sommuddur, tero nodir par. After my Madhyamik Exams ie March, 2004 i tried to communicate with it. I would go up to the chhad and look up to the stars , at the constellations, at Saptarshi and Orion and tell myself that bho couldn't be as far as they are. So i whispered to them, to bho , to the rustle of the neem leaves during the Spring nights of 2004, looking eagerly forwards to another muggy Summer. Summer arrived with Scalar, vector and Acidimetry. There was also the south west monsoon winds with Chromosome and cell division and there was certainly....... bho .... yes bho again. Bho came back but this time it came back as a weak and timid black thing. All it was capable of was removing a curious blue green toffee from a silver wrapper . JEE dispersed and united Hydrostatics with Nervous system but failed to achieve nobler ends. Nevertheless poison ivy worked it's way. Bho revisited on that fateful day. Twice bitten, ever shy/Your eyes will burn but you cannot cry.

Mora hati.

Mora hatir dam ki lakh taka? We shall soon find out.

Birohobedona....... and abhishampat.

I miss u Motorola C168. Though u were never mine ie khatakolome, but can u deny that i had a spl relationship with u ? Woe b to the one who has dared to lay his/her filthy hands on u. May he/she suffer from communication gap for the rest of his/her damned life.